Stubborn Faith

God willing, we’ll journey through Psalm 88 on Sunday — what’s considered to be the saddest of all psalms. It gives voice to what has often been called the “dark night of the soul,” an experience not foreign to the life of faith. Examples abound throughout history of saints who have walked through such valleys, and we can read of their experience for encouragement in our own.

I’ve been familiar with the soul troubles of Charles Spurgeon and John Bunyan (I’ll mention both in the sermon), but it was Bunyan’s faith in particular that especially ministered to me this week.

In his autobiography, Grace Abounding to the Chief of Sinners, Bunyan recounts a long season of spiritual darkness that left him feeling utterly forsaken and tormented by fear. He writes, 

I prayed to God that he would comfort me, and give me strength to do and suffer what he should call me to; yet no comfort appeared, but all continued hid … 

all things of God were kept out of my sight, and still the tempter followed me with, But whither must you go when you die? What will become of you? … 

Thus was I tossed for many weeks, and knew not what to do; at last this consideration fell with weight upon me, that it was for the Word and way of God that I was in this condition, wherefore I was engaged not to flinch a hair’s breadth from it. (Grace Abounding, 1666, 124)

For some background, Bunyan had been thrown in prison for preaching the gospel, and he was facing the prospect of execution. He worried that he’d shrink back from his faith in the gallows, and Satan, the tempter, exploited the fear and attacked Bunyan’s assurance. His soul was disquieted, to use a Puritan word, until he finally ‘looked up,’ you might say. 

Stubborn in his faith, despite his struggle, he writes, 

Yea, it was my duty to stand on his word, whether he would ever look upon me or not, or save me at the last: wherefore, thought I, the point being thus, I am for going on, and venturing my eternal state with Christ, whether I have comfort here or not; if God doth not come in, thought I, I will leap off the ladder [in the gallows] even blindfold into eternity, sink or swim, come heaven, come hell: Lord Jesus, if thou wilt catch me, do; if not, I will venture for thy name. (125)

Bunyan reminds us of the fiery furnace in the Book of Daniel. Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego faced execution and told Nebuchadnezzar that God is able to deliver them, but even if he doesn’t, they’ll never bow to another god (see Daniel 3:17). Like those boys, when the comforts of God are hidden, when all light seems to have vanished, Bunyan doesn’t walk away, he presses on — not because he can see, but because he knows that Jesus is worthy of his trust even in the dark.

Lord, give us that kind of faith! Amen.